Changes...

My house is crazy with boxes and items leaning along the walls.  I have filled in all the holes and chips and now all I need to do is paint.

It is strange to see my house this way.

There is a lot of my heart that is going to miss this place.

I will miss Bryce's room that supposed to be Declan's as well.

I will miss my room where I spent many days missing Declan.

Along with all that though, I am going to be grateful to be free of it as well.  It was really good for me to have this place.  But it is time.

I need a change to help with this process.  I supposed to stay here would keep me from that.  I know this is part of moving forward.  It hurts, but it feels right.

Moving right where we came from is strange.

It almost feels as though the last 4 years were a strange dream.  It was merely a collection of heart-ache and peace that was in my unconscious imagination.

I left to come here with a 3 year old and a baby.  I'm going back with a 7 year old and a 4 year old.

How strange.

I am going back with the same amount of kids in my car that I left with.

I thought I would definitely had another child by now.  But it is funny how different life turns out from what you envision.