Pity party...

I made my first blankets and then fell into a pool of tears.  I couldn't keep making them.

So I made little progress.

My sweet friend brought me ice cream to cheer me up.  Her words were encouraging...but deep down I just felt like a baby.

I stopped throwing myself a pity party and got to work.

I got a lot of the bags done...I'll post a picture later.

I made 3 blankets in one day...I was proud.

The funnest thing is I can't seem to make the boy blankets...I know why, but I feel like a whiner.

So I almost have the girl blankets done and I just have to force myself to make a boy blanket...or I'll regret it.

As much as it hurts to make these blankets...I am really happy to do it.  When I complete one I just hold it for a minute and think about the sweet mother's arms this will be held.  I want to tell her..."I know this hurts!  I've felt it too!  And I'm so sorry!"

I thought his 2nd birthday wouldn't hurt so bad...but I was really wrong.  But I also didn't plan on so many people offering to help me.  There is so much love that has surrounded me these last few weeks.

I haven't had so many people on my doorstep ever...dropping off and picking up blankets.

It's a gift from Declan...I know.

These people are sent to help me...comfort me...because Declan can't.

Thank you...you know who you are.  You have lifted a burden.  I'll never be able to express my gratitude for helping me with this project.  It brings a lot of memories back...some I rather not think about...but it is really good for me to remember and I feel that it pushes me to not dwell on just me and my pain...there are many of us...and unfortunately tomorrow a new member of the baby loss world is born.