Boxes...

I haven't talked about my box much on here.  I have it tucked up in my closet safe with Declan's treasures inside.  I don't touch it much, I did when he first died...but now I rarely enter the box.

Lately, because one of my friend's son is doing his Eagle scout project with the organization that made my box, I have been thinking more about my box.  I was incredibly lucky to get mine in the hospital.  Two of my friends were not, but were given one later.

I was very lucky to meet the women responsible for my box only about 4 months after Declan died.  It was very special for me.

On Thursday, the day after my 30th birthday, they will come again and build more boxes.  I'm selfishly looking forward to it (a little birthday treat).  I love making the boxes.  I love being apart of the process.

I think of all the woman who will carry that box, I place items inside, home...instead of their baby...like I did.  My heart aches thinking about it.

Two years ago I didn't even know that people made boxes for mothers that lose their babies.  Two years ago I was pregnant and though I knew death was a risk never took it to heart.  I never dreamed someone's tragedy of losing their little baby girl would touch my life.

Now I have a box...full of treasures...everything Declan touched.  I guard it.  Cherish it.  And pray nothing ever happens to it.

The last time I built boxes I was asked to speak.  I brought with me my box and many other things...

I love every treasure that reminds me of Declan.  It has been very sweet to have reminders.  My little Emmy has recently asked to sleep with her Declan blanket every night.  Just tonight she asked for it and found it on my bed where she had left it after dragging it in with her the previous night.  She even wears the bracelet I made for her that says Declan.

I am grateful that DeLanee's mom thought to make boxes for grieving mothers that turned into an organization that expanded to me and so many others.  To visit and find out more go to this link.